Picking My Brother Up

When I picked up BR from FS’s, I brought lunch while we waited for my mom to bring his clothes. He had scheduled a doctor’s appointment to get his wrists looked at. Because of the width of his shoulders, the handcuffs had been on too tight while he was in the squad car and being “interrogated”. I got more and more upset with the more he told me. I asked him if he told the officers that my dad’s shoulders were so big they needed two pairs of cuffs; he said he did and they didn’t listen. He told me he had to be strip searched before being put into general holding. And he told me and FS that my mom’s “friend” FD had signed a report against my brother. She said she had gone to the food pantry while he was there and he told her he “can’t wait until that f-er is 18” so he could “buy him luggage” and kick him out.

FS and I were both seething about FD. She told my mom not to bring him on her property or we’d have to be picking her up from jail next. My mom came over to bring my brother some clothes, but somehow she managed to not bring the clothes. We discussed her craziness with FS. We went to the doctor, who was amazed at all of the events. He told us that my mom’s first exploits into housemates was crazy but that this was out of hand.

After seeing the doctor, we called my mom and told her to have BR’s clothes ready. We would stop outside of the house and call her. We called and waited about 10 minutes getting bitten by mosquitos and were about to leave when she finally brought a bag of clothing.

She continually blamed my brother, saying he deserved what he got for making bad decisions. This was one of the things FS and I were so mad about — she was defending FD and his decision to signed a complaint because he was “telling the truth”.

So BR came over, stayed for a few days, and may have neglected to shower and brush his teeth more times that I can count. I have never met anyone who showers less than my brother and father.

While We Were Out

On our last night in Georgia, we got two phone calls.

First, my cousin CJ’s puppy Maizy had gotten off her leash and was hit by a car and didn’t make it. CJ was really upset.

Second, my mom told me that BR was still yelling at MJ and MMK and she told me they were going to move out. Later that night I got a voice mail from my mom saying, “You won’t believe this. Your brother was arrested. He was taken away in handcuffs.”

I called my mom and she told me BR had been punching MMK and she called the police. BR was in the Juvenile Detention Center and she was waiting to get a phone call to pick him up. There was nothing she could have done, she told me, making sure to let me know that he deserved it.

I called CJ to try to make her feel better and my aunt to see what we should do. My aunt knew where the juvenile center was and offered to pick him up. I called my mom and she said no. She was going to take BR to FS’s house to stay there and keep him away from MJ and MMK.

The Strangers

I was getting calls from my mom complaining about my brother fighting with MMK and MJ. He was screaming at them to move out. I asked why, but she just said, “He hates them.” She told me one reason was that MMK kept taking the dog to the park to run, despite a very clear “NO PETS” sign. BR said if she got in trouble and the dog got taken away, they would have to pay for all his shots in addition to his impound fee to get him back and they couldn’t afford that.

I was busy with work and planning a family reunion trip with my in-laws, but I figure things would sinner down while we were out of town.

The Barn Smell

We went to my mom’s to help her our. The dog looked funny and fat. I asked why, and apparently MMK had given him a haircut. The cat cried when I picked her up from a sore above her tail. My mom and brother are letting MMK rub it with Witch Hazel and give the cat a sugar/tylenol mixture. She said a veterinarian will just tell them to wrap it, so they can’t do better that keeping it clean.

We helped my mom move some more boxes from FS’s barn into her house. She forgot it was Memorial Day and didn’t rent a truck so we took five loads of boxes in our car. They left a wonderfully moldy barn smell that we have yet to remove from our interior.

When we brought in the boxes, they were immediately triaged. They either went to my mom’s room, or the kitchen, where MMK was in her tanning outfit (a bikini exploding with wrinkles) or into my mom’s room. MMK was frantically scrubbing everything, even if my mom told her it was still clean.

We left them eating leftover spaghetti, and finally had a chance to take my mom out for Mother’s Day.

Dead End Street

My mom got a house on a dead end street. It has three bedrooms, a big kitchen, a backyard with a deck, a front porch, three full bathrooms and the basement is in the process of being finished.

Here is what I have heard: While my mom was at the hotel, she made some friends. MMK and MJ were living in the motel because of some bad luck. MJ had been living with his parents because MMK was in jail. She had been working as a veterinarian and her friends robbed a Home Depot. She was blamed and spent 8 months in jail. She got out a month ago, but her veterinary license was revoked so she can only be a veterinary assistant. She is also in the middle of a lawsuit for a broken kneecap that will cost $70,000 to replace. MJ is a carpenter and sometimes gets to borrow his boss’ truck. My brother might be working a couple of days a week with MJ’s boss and making $15 per hour.

My mom has been moving in most of her stuff, but it is dirty from FS’s barn so MMK has been cleaning all of it like crazy. My mom took the big bedroom, which I believe is actually the living room; my brother has a bedroom and MMK and MJ are sharing the other bedroom. If the basement gets finished, my brother will move down there instead.

Why My Brother is the Favorite

My brother was a curly blonde haired, bluish eyed baby. He was the cutest baby in the world and my mom showed off his speedo butt tan line to prove it. His first haircut happened in our kitchen and I collected a small bag full of blonde baby hair as it flew to the floor.

His hair was darker underneath, but still not as dark as mine. It will never be as dark as mine, but it might be curlier.

We look a lot more alike now that he is older. So alike, in fact, that my mom’s boyfriend said I look like him. Which is clearly not the case, because I am older than him. Also, I am obviously the favorite child, because I am a girl and look more like my dad than he does. Win from both sides of the family. Now, my brother believes this is true but I am going to prove that he is the favorite child and I will never be able to compete.

How I know Robby is the Favorite Child
1. He gets anything he wants from my mom and from me.
2. He gets away with playing mind games. At his age I got yelled at, especially when what I said was true.
3. He gets new pets by crying. I had to save my money and buy my own pets.
4. He sucks up like you wouldn’t believe.
5. He is the baby! We only have one younger cousin, and he is the youngest of 10 grandchildren on my mom’s side.
6. He gets to drive my mom’s car and it is basically his. I didn’t have a car until I was 22.
7. He has a checking account (with my mom). I got my checking account when I was 18, for college.

He is obviously the favorite.

Obi-Who?

When I was a child, my dad and I watched TV together, a lot. I don’t remember much of “Star Wars” or “Blazing Saddles” or “The Life of Brian”. However, I am convinced we watched Ewok movies. Now, I have been told that Ewok movies do exist. But I don’t think we watched the actual Ewok movies. (I may have watched Ewok cartoons, because I also watched Gummy Bears cartoons.) I think we used to watch “Star Wars” together…

Now that I am older, I can’t stand “Star Wars” or “Lord of the Rings” or any of those movies or even TV shows where people have funny heads. So why so I watch Ewok shows? Probably because my dad liked them and I have always loved small furry animals. Funny how things change and we don’t remember what we used to like or not like…

My Mom’s Plan

My mom got her cousin to co-sign on the house she is trying to rent. She wants me to move in and not pay rent, but my brother told her that is not possible because I already signed my lease for next year. Thank god for brothers.

Also, my mom believes that the state will “go after” her old mortgage lenders to get her the difference between what she owed on the house and what they sold it for. This would be amazing. Her plan is to buy the house she is going to be renting. She says the owner bought it a few years ago for $65,000 and she will offer him $100,000 or $120,000 for it. She thinks that is a good idea and fair. She also thinks I can move in and not pay rent on my apartment and commute to work.

Four Down, None to Go?

My mom and brother looked at four houses the other week. Some were too small, too dirty, too laundry-through-someone-else’s-bathroom, too close to the lake, too… you get the picture.

One of them was perfect. It has three bedrooms and two full baths, a wrap-around porch, all new windows and a walk-out basement. It sounds wonderful. Except that my mom is trying to talk them down on the rent by about 10% and she also thinks she can afford to spend 71% of my brother’s child support on this house. I don’t think this is reasonable.

Even better, my mom wants me to move in there and commute to work on the train because it is perfect for all of us to live there. If I put my entire savings down on it, I’d pay half of the rent in my mortgage. I call renting the place a bad idea…

On top of it, my brother missed 10 days of school and was supposed to serve a detention for each day he missed after that. I don’t think he has been back and he now has at least 10 detention stacked up.

My Mom’s Tickets

When I talked to my mom Saturday she told me she got pulled over for not wearing her seatbelt. She told the officer that she knew her license plate sticker was also expired and she already had a ticket for it. She told the officer about her most recent string of misfortune, about how she had her power turned off and had to move to a motel with my brother and the dog and she was trying to find a place to live but wasn’t having the best luck. FD told her not to tell the man her life story, but that is not my mom is.

When I was in college, home for the summer, we were driving home in the dark and my mom got pulled over. Before the office could speak, She told him that she knew her license tag was expired, but she was waiting until she had enough money to get it paid for. It turned out he had pulled her over because her rear lights were out and she wanted to make sure she knew. She thanked him for letting her know and said she had no idea that the lights weren’t working and said we would go to the mechanic from there.

As soon as we pulled away she told me the lights hadn’t been working for a while but she thought telling him what he wanted to hear was the best was to get out of anything.