The New Red Ford Explorer

FD is now living with my mom. He missed his foreclosure with his house sale by about two hours. I just found out from my mom that FD bought a new (to them) Ford Explorer. It is a 2003 and my mom said it rides “like being on a cloud” after being in her 1997 Toyota Corolla. I heard from my brother that FD still does not have a license and that getting his license back from his DUI could take a year.

So, Red Rover is in my mom’s name and on my mom’s insurance.

My brother also informed me that my mom has not been given a key to this vehicle. Despite it being in her name and on her insurance. She is only allowed to have a key when FD wants a ride somewhere, I guess.

Came for Meeting

Came for Meeting, a photo by moebius-stripe on Flickr.

This is/will be the title and cover of my book.

Nod if You Can Hear Me

A month ago

Co-worker: “My students let this other student work even though she wasn’t hired and doesn’t have work-study.”

Me: “Well we can’t hire her for the rest of the year, but we can hire her and pay her for the hours she worked.” So we hire her.

Two Weeks Ago

Me: “Did you enter this student’s time to get paid so I can terminate the position so they don’t accidentally get paid more?”

Co-worker: “Yes.”

Me: “Awesome.”

Today

Coworker: “This student emailed me. Did we pay her for the 8 hours she worked?”

Me: “We paid her for the time you put on her timesheet, 5 hours.”

The New Red Ford Explorer

FD is now living with my mom. He missed his foreclosure with his house sale by about two hours. I just found out from my mom that FD bought a new (to them) Ford Explorer. It is a 2003 and my mom said it rides “like being on a cloud” after being in her 1995 Toyota Corolla. I heard from my brother that FD still does not have a license and that getting his license back from his DUI could take a year.

So, Red Rover is in my mom’s name and on my mom’s insurance.

My brother also informed me that my mom has not been given a key to this vehicle. Despite it being in her name and on her insurance. She is only allowed to have a key when FD wants a ride somewhere, I guess.

When Therapy Happens

My brother started a program one week ago for “School Anxiety”. Because my mom lives so far away from normalcy, no agencies will provide my brother with transportation. My mom drives him and complains about how much pain she is in because of it.

She is still helping FD move. I could have sworn it had been 30 days already, but maybe not. She likes helping FD because he is a “bigger hoarder” than her. She has only answered the phone for me once this week and her voice mail is full.

BR says that his psychiatrist was trying to call my mom as well to prescribe him new medications, but she did not answer and he voice mail was full. My brother has successfully attended one week of his program.

Let’s see where this leads.

Moving?

My mom is helping her “friend” get his house ready to sell. My brother says it is full of trash and smells like it too. The convolution of our relationships to people continue. FD thinks my cousin’s husband’s cousin’s father will buy his house. It is on a golf course, but he has not had garbage service for over the year we have known him. BR does not want to help and does not believe anything good will come of this. I am a firm believer that FD will sell his house and move once he has money, leaving my mom in the dust and still owing her thousands of dollars.

Despite BR’s interest in giving her advice, my mom  won’t listen to him. My mom only complains about BR, but she is making the bed they are in. She lies, then BR lies and says he is not playing WoW. We know he is. We can log into StarCraft and chat with him! He is doing nothing with his life. He says he applies for jobs. He says he wants to register for school. He says he wouldn’t mind getting his GED, going into carpentry or some specialty. Yet he does nothing.

My mom complains: He does not put away laundry or do dishes. He plays video games. He yells at FD. He won’t walk the dog. He won’t feed the cats or change the cat litter.

All in all, it is frustrating. None of this bunch is going anywhere in life. Or, at least not very soon.

180 Degrees

Today we interviewed my #1 choice after phone interviews.

One of our interviewers says, “Please tell us about a time you did something that inadvertently caused more work for someone else.”

The answer (mostly paraphrased): “My boyfriend got a puppy. I told him I didn’t want it. It got parvo and vomited all over. We took it to the vet for injections and it got better. My boyfriend’s mom paid the vet bills and I offered to give her money, but she wouldn’t take it. Today I was letting the puppy in from the backyard and it had an opossum in its mouth. I thought it was a stuffed animal, because its hair was all over. But it was a dead opossum. He kind of smells funny. I should tell my boyfriend, because that’s probably why he got parvo.”

My Mom’s “Friend”

FS and my mom have not spoken much since the situation with BR. The other day my mom finally got to go over to see FS’s one-year-old. She loves seeing the baby, so I guess it was good for everyone. My mom blames my brother, though, for “ruining” her friendship with FS and making her “lose” her babysitting job for FS.

My mom complains about having no money, about not being able to pay the rent. To make life better (see the sarcasm?) BR tells my mom it is his child support money. She argues with him. They are both right and wrong. My mom is spending money meant to pay for his clothes, school, car, etc on FD and cigarettes and screwing around. At the same time, she is putting a roof over his head and feeding him. Believe me, he is an eating machine!

Because of all of this, my mom wants to invite her “friend” over but BR doesn’t like him, or his demands. FD is a lying scumbag and I know where my brother is coming from. My mom is being a baby about it and won’t go home to spend any time with BR.

The Block Party

On Sunday we went to my aunt’s block party. We made salsa with corn. My cousin made sangria. BR was allowed a half baby cup sangria. He refilled it a couple of times, but I don’t know if anyone kept track. When the rum was taken out and shots were sampled, he sniffed around the kitchen asking us to open the bottle but we all said no.

By the end of the night I was hoping BR would stay with AP for a night or two; my mom said do what we needed to do. I vented my frustrations of him not cooperating, even though he acted polite. AP told UG about his “non-compliance” and BR overheard. He sat in the other room. I asked him to join us and he said no — he also wanted me to take him to my mom’s, where it was definitely unsafe for him to be, if MMK or MJ were there. There was always the threat of them outright blackmailing him over pressing charges.

He said if someone was going to say he was non-compliant, that is how he would be. Every time I tried to talk to him he was irrational. I was stressed out to the point of crying. Eventually he said he would walk home from there, making me so angry that I yelled at him to walk.

I cried. He cried. I brought him some ice water and napkins and hugged him and apologized and called my mom. She said he should do what I tell him, that he wasn’t worth my tears because he was using me and manipulating me and that is what he does to her. Eventually BR and I were fine and AP came in. I asked BR to please wash his face, blow his nose and stop to use the restroom before we left. He refused. AP asked him if he wanted to stay there but told him he would have to be “compliant”. He said he just wanted to stay with me. AP told him he was “non-compliant” again. I asked him to, again, wash his face before we left. AP told him this is how he is being “non-complaint” — by not listening to me. He stomped out with no shoes and sat by my car. I mused about his attitude, my mom’s attitude and the whole situation for a few minutes.

We gathered our container from the salsa and shoes and BR’s things and we left.

The Talk about The Future

I talked to my brother about what he wanted to do with his life. Did he want to finish school? He’d probably have to make up most of a year along with his senior year, so a minimum of a year and a half in school. Did he want to get his GED and find a job? He seemed interested in that idea. He could take the prep classes for free and take the exam and be done.

We told him we could help him if he would let us help him. If he would stand up to my mom and tell her he needed our help. Instead of wasting his time playing video games and skipping school. But he didn’t. He went home and continued doing his usual thing.

I should have realized that he was only telling me what he thought I wanted to hear. I learned that he can’t be trusted. I learn that over and over, but I still do it. I must like being punished and having my feelings stomped on until I can’t sleep at night and I cry because I am so upset and worried. Yet my brother just continues… and doesn’t try to change.